I began blogging about four years ago, I think. I started out with some bad Iphone pictures and was hiding my blog from people I knew. I felt a little embarrassed, afraid what people might think. Once I bought my digital camera, I felt I was a ‘real’ blogger. An outlet for me as fashion and beauty lover….I always wanted to go back to designing or styling, after I became a singer and vocal coach, but just didn’t have the time.
My blog died
It’s been four months since my last blogpost. I totally lost my focus and inspiration. I love to browse Instagram, have a few favorite vloggers.. but things changed in my personal life and left me feeling so disconnected from all that was happening online. Perfect settings of bloggers in complete sponsored outfits, perfect backgrounds and locations. Everything is so….perfect.
My life felt anything but perfect. I lost my self-confidence, didn’t like the person I saw looking back at me in the mirror. I wanted to change everything. I wanted to be Instagram perfect. Body image issues have always been a thing for me. It comes in waves…one moment I’m happy with myself, the next I feel horrible and stuff my face with everything I can get my hands on. Well, let’s just say this wave is a long one.
Having epilepsy has changed me. I lost and gained weight due to my medication, felt depressed and climbed back up after changing up my meds. The meds I’m on at the moment, have my seizures under control for almost a year now (yay!) but give me a lot of stomach problems, and I can’t take any birth control pills. This really f*cked up my skin and gave me the worst acne I’ve had since I was a teenager. I have spend months trying to get rid of it, but it still hasn’t calmed dowm. I bought a looot of new foundations to try and cover it up…Photographed a lot of make up products to share, but just didn’t feel like sharing those on my face. I just gave up. I don’t want to edit my pictures and photoshop my waistline, erase all my flaws and give myself sharp and perfect insta-brows.
Blogging as we know has died?
I remember the thrill of reading comments on my blog, about sharing and getting inspired by other bloggers. It looks like that has changed, not only for me, but I’ve noticed that it’s gotten a lot quieter. Comments and sharing has moved to Instagram, where people just comment and like to gain followers. Not to mention buying followers, blogger who follow and then unfollow….
A lot of bloggers (now Instagrammers) work with sponsorships, but it has made reading articles for great content a lot harder to find. Sidebars and other ads are completely gone as a source for income, I think and Instagram has turned into the place to be for easy ads to hide.
Things have changed, and maybe that’s ok..Maybe I’m just getting too old for this shit. I just feel a little out of place.
Maybe I’m just not a blogger?
My blogging is a side hobby, so only really worked with brands, unless I liked them. And my income comes from music, which I work hard for…for me that’s enough. My blog and Instagram page have been my little outlet next to singing. But I felt as long as I’m not feeling myself, I can’t really share anything worth reading. This blogpost has been on my mind for months…but today I was looking at some pictures of my vacation and I realized I still want to share things. So this is what I’m sharing today…. my frustrations, what’s been on my mind. And I’m going to revamp my blog. My imperfections, my battle with acne, my work, fashion, beauty..all of it. Just not everyday, only when I have something to share, and I hope you’ll like reading it and will share your stories with me.
So is blogging dead? Has everything moved to social media? I’m curious to what you guys think!